A Mad Departure from a Winter Wonderland

              On the evening of Saturday December 9^th; I had been inside intently studying for my final exams over two days as North Texas became a winter wonderland.  As cabin fever began seriously creep up on me, I had to step away from my studies for few hours to let my mind rest a bit.   So I decided to text Mad to see if he would like to join me for a meal.  A few minutes later I received a response from Mad saying that although he would like to meet for dinner, the prospect of walking in the biting cold prevented him from venturing out.   I laughed and told him not to worry since I didn’t mind walking to a food venue closer to his house.  I thought it would do me some good to get some fresh air anyway and really did not want to have another meal at the school cafeteria, Market Square, since they had been running low on supplies over the past few days and the selections were becoming increasingly limited.   Mad and I decided to meet at Wendy’s since it was right next to his house.   So, at five in the evening, I began my epic quest to Wendy’s.   Nearly thirty minutes later I arrived finding Mad all bundled up awaiting for me.

After greeting one another and ordering our food the first thing to come out of Mad’s mouth was “Man it’s (expletive) cold! I can’t handle this.”  Foreseeing this to be one of the first things out of his mouth, I burst out laughing.   Mad seemed to be more stressed about the snow then finals!  But he was right; he was not being too much of a baby about this one.  It was seriously cold!  Neither of us  have ever lived in a place where it snows so this was a new experience for us both.  We never realized how much trouble and dangerous snow and ice could be.  I myself nearly died a handful of times on what would normally be an easy walk to Wendy’s as I slipped around the icy roads in my Vans (which had become wet and cold). We discussed how fascinating it was to us to learn of practices such as placing salt on the roads of or having buckets of dirt available for students to scatter as they walked.  Mad complained about not being able to get to the Rec Center the past few days to workout, which became a tangent about working out.  Mad and I both take an interest in fitness and in fact, the Rec Center is actually the place where we first met and where we frequently run into one another.   His interests there are in body building – which is apparently a popular sport in Saudi Arabia.   He expressed his frustration with not being able to afford buying enough “clean” food to fulfill his caloric needs.  Having played and followed four years of a rigorous high school football program myself, I understood how frustrating it could be to see little to no gain from hard work and of the importance of eating right.  But what had never crossed my mind was the fact that some people like Mad, simply could not afford good fresh food.   This made me realize that things like “food deserts”, which I have studied, are actually real and how lucky I am to not worry about food… yet. 

Eventually his tangent tapered back into our original conversation on the cold and snow. Mad stated he was surprised how well and quickly the U.S. government responds to natural disasters.  This statement perplexed me because I figured that with the vast wealth of the Saudi Arabian government their citizens are provided for both in times of turmoil as well as in everyday life.  Mad said it was true that they had money and resources to respond to adversity but that the government was so corrupt that if some type of disaster such as the recent tsunamis in the Philippines were to strike, the wealthy government officials would only look out for themselves and their affluent families.  Once again this shocked me, making me realize how lucky I am to live in a country like the United States.

An hour later, having finished our meal, Mad and I figured it best to get back to our studies. As we prepared to depart; I realized that this was going to be our last meeting for the purposes of this class.  But we assured one another that once the New Year comes and I arrive back at TCU for the new semester we would get back together to catch up.   Once we said our goodbyes and I ordered a steaming hot cup of coffee, I began the long, cold trek back to my dorm.

I am extremely thankful for having had the opportunity to meet and learn from Mad.  Our conversations have made me immensely appreciative of what I have and they have instilled in me a more worldly perspective.  But what I value the most from this experience is that I have gained a new friend.

What I Have, Will, & Should Learn

            As the semester winds down, I find myself in a reflective state contemplating my past, present, and future.  I think of all that I have learned in the past few months, what I will learn in the upcoming semester, and most notably, what I should be learning. These thoughts seem to consume me.   

            As it has been all semester for me, I find it is quite easy to relay what I have learned throughout this term. Prior to its beginning, I would have never fathomed how much goes into running a business.   I have gained a great deal of knowledge in the Fall of 2013 both in the academic environment as well as in the social settings I have engaged in.  As an aspiring business major in the honors college, my schedule has been limited to business courses.   In my Business Informational Systems course I have come to learn how vital social media, technology, and process models are in increasing efficiency.   Similar yet distinctly different, I have been learning how to be an effective leader and how to mediate in my Foundations of Leadership course.  In Statistics and the Analysis of Data I have learned to calculate, correlate, and read data and how it plays a huge role in ensuring that businesses and their leaders meet standards necessary to be an efficient and effective corporation. Finally, in my two writing emphasis courses, Lit & Civ II and Writing Argument, I have developed the hard and soft skills needed to be an effective writer and communicator.  This course specifically has given me a more worldly perspective and has shown me how pleasurable and valuable reflection blogging can be.

            Just as I can simplistically state what I have learned, I can also explain or infer what I will be learning in the upcoming semester.  Next semester in the Spring of the new year I will be taking five more business courses.   My leadership development will continue in the Interpersonal Leadership Skills course where I will be learning how to communicate effectively within a group of people with the goal of developing team synergy.  Conversely I will learn about basic practices, methods, and policies in a traditional business environment in Fountains of Business.  While in Business Law I will learn the legal ins and outs of these general business policies.  Accounting will serve to teach me how to manage currency and capital worth.  But of all these courses I am most excited to begin studies in my major - marketing.   In this course, I will be learning the history of marketing and general strategies.   I am eager and optimistic about venturing into the world of marketing.

            Finally I have come to what I should learn. It is easy to evaluate what I have already learned and what I must learn in order to acquire and hone my professional skills; but it is immensely more difficult to state what I should learn, not as a professional but as a person.  My leadership development class and this course have given me a wealth of opportunities to reflect on my own being, allowing me to increase my level of self-awareness. I have come to realize my strengths as a driven, dedicated, and passionate individual; but I have also come to recognize a number of crucial flaws I have that inhibit me. What I should learn is how to be empathetic and how to relax.  My strengths have made me a very critical person of others and of myself.  I need to stop being so harsh in my judgments.  Success means nothing without personal happiness and making others happy is more satisfying than acquiring any accolade or sum of money.   People are the only things with true value that we will come across in our journey through life. 

LMAO (Laughing My A** Off)

              In the Casciani household there is a demonic pair of hair clippers.  My father an ongoing joke about the haircuts I get from him. When my hair grows long and I am in dire need a trim I go to him to ask him if he would cut my hair.  I emphasize the word trim because every time I ask my dad for a haircut it begins intended to be just that; but my hair somehow becomes shorter and shorter as he messes up here and there.  Typically 30 minutes later I find myself looking in the mirror, with a buzz, asking myself why I did not just got to the barbershop. On November 27 the day after I got home, for thanksgiving break from TCU; I made a request for one of these haircuts.

Approaching my dad who was on the computer at his desk, I asked.

 “Hey dad would you be able to cut my hair?”

“No, I’m not a barber. Remember what happened last time I messed up your hair.” 

But I persisted with a grin on my face “I don’t mind, really. Please? I just need a trim”

Eventually he submits to my nagging requests, laughing.

I set up the clippers in the bathroom and my dad begun to work his “magic”.

This time it wasn’t even two minutes when I heard an “oops, crap!”

 I did not even need to turn around to look in the mirror to know he had already messed up, some how, as we both begun to laugh uncontrollably. When I did finally turn to look in the mirror I came to find a chunk of my hair missing in the back.  My dad had put on the wrong guard size, so my hair was just a tad shorter then one would consider a trim. From that point on there was no going back. My hairs fate was doomed to be subjected to the typical buzz. Needless to say, this week you will be able to find my fathers exceptional work on my head as I strut around campus.

You can be certain that my dad is not and hopefully never will be a barber. His haircuts may not provide the best results, but nonetheless they have become a cherished comical tradition in my household.

Mad Relationships

            At 7am on Sunday, November 24^th, I arose feeling rather restless.  Not having anything to do and with my roommates still asleep, I decided to do my laundry. While reading and waiting for my clothes to dry, I received a text from Mad, inquiring as to what I was doing at the time.  Although we had planned on meeting some time that day I didn’t expect him to be up so early.  Wanting to get outside and move around, I asked Mad if he would like to grab coffee and go for a walk, to which he gladly obliged.   Thirty minutes later we met at Einstein’s Bagels, got our coffee and began our stroll towards the athletic fields.

Our conversation started with what we had each done in the past week and a half.  Personally I had been busy with a number of exams and papers.  Similarly, Mad had had four midterms and his ILIT test, which after taking for a third time, he was happy to say he passed.  Mad asked me how my studies as a business student at TCU worked.  So I explained to him that each semester I take four to six classes.   My freshman and sophomore years are focused around core classes that every student needs to take.  Then my junior and senior years are spent in specialized classes for my major.   Mad found this interesting because as a student in the intensive English program, his studies at TCU differed in a number of ways.  He only has two years of schooling and he takes four classes all with the same students; and he only has two tests a year, midterms and finals.

            With Thanksgiving break coming up I asked him what his plans were.  I never thought about it before but Thanksgiving is an American holiday.   Sadly, with its lack of significance to Mad and not having any family in the United States, he simply had no plans.  I invited him to come home and stay with me in Los Angeles but he just chuckled and said “Thank you man, but that’s too expensive for me”. 

            Following a few minutes of silence, I recalled an interesting topic from one of my peers’ blog posts.    In my classmate’s blog he spoke to his conversation partner about relationships in Saudi Arabia.  With this inspiration, I began to ask Mad about his personal experiences with women in his country.   It turns out that his interaction with women has been relatively limited because, with the exception of kindergarten, all education in Saudi Arabia is segregated by gender.  The only opportunity for young males to interact with females is in a family setting.  This makes it very difficult for both men and women to find partners.  The majority of times relationships are arranged by family members, but in the end it is up to the couple to decide if the relationship is working or not.  With women being such rare commodities, the men in Saudi Arabia are typically very respectful when it comes to female interaction.    Should a relationship become serious enough for a wedding to occur, a whole other slue of challenges for men arise.   Getting married is a serious matter.   The costs add up to such a great sum that it takes a communal effort by the male’s whole immediate and extended family to gather such an amount of money.    A typical wedding costs at least $50,000.    The cost, all of which falls on the shoulders of the males family, includes a minimum of 500 guests, a dowry fee, gifts, a ring, and literally a Castle for the celebration.   Laughingly,  Mad exclaimed “Its crazy - with the amount of money we spend on one night my wife and I could travel the world”

With our coffees drained and after walking for nearly an hour, Mad and I decided to go our separate ways in order to attend to the chores that needed completing with what remained of our Sunday.  As I walked back to my dorm room my mind kept thinking of how different life for a Saudi Arabian is.   Despite having attended what I considered a highly regulated all boys’ high school, I still find it hard to imagine a life in such a highly structured culture.    I have become immensely appreciative of the social liberties and customs I often take for granted.   This has been an deeply eye opening experience and one that reminds me of the many blessings I have this Thanksgiving.

Some Mad Laws Of The Road

            On Monday afternoon, November 11^th Mad and I met once again.  This time we decided to meet over lunch at Market Square.   The first thing that struck me when I saw him was that he was quite bundled up, despite it being a fair 62 degrees. Mad’s attire consisted of jeans, a beanie, a long sleeve t-shirt, and a jacket.   Naturally, due to his rather unusual outfit our conversation began with the weather.  He complained about how it gets so cold here in Texas.    Back in Saudi Arabia it was hot year round so prior to moving to the United States he had never lived in an area where temperatures drop below 65.  Now coming from LA myself, I may be seen as a wimp about the cold, but I am nowhere nearly as effected by it as Mad.    His face was priceless when I told him that Tuesday was forecasted to be about 25 degrees colder then it was that day – and it was also going to be windy and wet.  He said he was going to stay in his house the whole day and I just had to laugh.  To this he responded (with the shadow of a grin), “You think I am joking, but I am not!”

           

While I took in Mad’s attire, I noticed he had an ace wrap around his left shoulder.  Naturally, I inquired about it.  Mad had been in five serious car wrecks in his life.  Two were serious enough that he had to have surgery.  But all of them left their own unique lingering injuries, one of which was his shoulder that tended to ache whenever the temperature dropped.    All five of his accidents took place in Saudi Arabia.    Mad said that unlike here in the United States there are no rules of the road.    In his country you make your own rules, roads become optional, insurance is useless, horns are just a way of getting through crowds and car wrecks are things to be expected.  Ironically, despite this chaos, citizens are faced with driving exams that are a lot more difficult then they are here in the United States. 

This past summer, when Mad was looking to purchase a car, two things shocked him.  First, he was amazed by the price Americans were asking and willing to pay for cars, especially new ones.  Limited to a budget, Mad began looking at used cars, where he found another astonishing fact:  almost none of these previously owned cars had been in wrecks before!   Delighted, Mad finally settled on a “never crashed” 2003 Nissan.  In the course of his search he found it ironic that despite being in America, there were less American cars here then there seems to be in Saudi Arabia.  Apparently, American cars are very popular there.   In fact, American car companies have even more car models there then they do here. 

Long after having finished our meal and as Market Square began to become full with a noisy crowd, we finally decided to leave.  Not having any class at the time,  I decided to walk Mad to his car so he would not have to face the cold alone and also so we could have a few more minutes to talk.   On our way to the parking lot a question popped into his mind.  He asked me how was it that the government could take away people’s cars and houses.   I briefly explained to him how debt and loans work here in the United States.  To him it did not seem right or fair.   As we arrived at his 2003 “never crashed” Nissan, Mad exclaimed, “Things shouldn’t cost so much here” and to this I agree.